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→ Are you in? ←Welcome to Aruinia... It's the dog's bollards. 19 décembre Spam up.Sometimes, I love spam.
14 décembre It’s like déjà vu all over again.By popular demand, and multiple death threats if I didn’t do otherwise, I am now making a happy, and long awaited (one should hope) return to the blogging scene after one very long month- (Yes, November has increased by two weeks according to my last update)
I’d plead for forgiveness and give you an incredibly lame sob-story about how busy I’ve been, but you have heard it before, so there’s no need to do it again. So instead I’ll plan to cure all diseases, gain world peace and abolish the acquisition of wealth as the driving force for humanity... and maybe update a little more frequently while college is out for winter, since faking my own death didn’t really work.
Truthfully, I think the whole crazy blogging fad has worn out for us original bloggers. I said it’d only last for a year, and look at us, updating less recurrently with very little to talk about. In some respects, I feel like Gwen Stefani.
Why Gwen Stefani? I hear you cry.
Mutton dressed as lamb. That’s all she is. No-one really likes her. And if you do, you still pretend you don’t. I don’t care how old she really is, but she does indeed dress younger than she should, and her music is just as distasteful as her clothes. She was good ages ago in the No Doubt years; but now, she’s just old muttony shit.
You may now question what this has to do with how I feel, and still, why it should relate to Miss. Mutton, if you’re no good at reading between lines. Well, it’s simple. I feel my time has come and gone as an “accomplished” blogger (oooh, look at me being all holier-than-thou) Just as Gwen was once an “accomplished" singer. Besides, the buzz of MSN spaces seems to have worn-thin, I said it‘ll only last a year.
No-one is really interested in Are you in any more. New faces are appearing over the months with new, interesting and innovative spaces (or in some cases, maybe not) All I need now is to give up, bag myself a grandchild to sit on my knee as I pass on my wisdom along with a handful of Werther’s originals. Enough of that. Now to reinforce how much of a forgetful hypocrite I can be; Expect new blog soon.
In the mean time, I think it’s about time I thank Emma, James and Karishma for participating in the Hayley Appreciation bands.
Emma, using her cunning ingenuity, has managed to craft from the wrist band a beautiful sweat band donned gloriously upon her head.
James, has gone to town with his hand, and dolled it up with a smiley face.
And Karishma, the clever li'l chicken and my "ever faithful minion", has transformed my crazy fad into a crazy cult, and is most definitely the first to join. She is in… Are you?
Slapped together by Hayley herself, at 23:02 on December 14th 2005 1 novembre Hayley who?!Welcome to Novermber. Observant people with eyes may have noticed a distinct lack of anything new appearing on Are You In in over a week. Why? Short answer: I've been busy.
Long answer: I've been very busy.
Longer boring answer: I’ve been piled with a stupid dumb ass project which consists of me conjuring up a stupid idea that I could craft an acetate cube, chock full of cod liver oil capsules. Of course, if you’re doing Graphic Design at all, you may understand that this is me trying to be creative. Or maybe you won’t… since I’d have to explain why it is a cube of clear plastic filled with several hundred said capsules and a stench that could gag a maggot, but I'm not going to.
I’ve been trying my hardest to get things done as quick as possible instead of leaving it ‘till the last minute so I'll be able to spend more time doing what I love most, which basically revolves around having a laugh, being lazy, being annoying, and not being so busy all the time, which is kinda ironic...
Besides being so supposedly busy, I am, by golly, actually updating Are You In. I’ll begin by summing up my week. Here follows a needlessly detailed and bullet-pointed list of what's hot and what's not:
And now, to ice my cake;
And for the decorative, yummy sprinkles;
Okay, in average, it seems there are more 'nots' than 'hots', but I’ll be the optimist here and hope D:Ream aren’t lying to me, according to them, things can only get better. Normally, I'd have a blog with a mildly humurous tale about me forgetting to turn the clocks back an hour and end up going wrong somewhere. Unfortunatley for you, I've managed avoid that this time round. Anyway, I realise I’m a day behind, but I don’t care, It's that dreaded time of year again where by small children dressed in duvets, silly-string and too much of their mum's lipstick are roaming the streets whilst gobbling sugary sweets and shoving lit fireworks into any available letterbox and/or stray feline.
Hallowe'en is the time of year when our door is locked and we hide in the front room with lights out and curtains shut as these sneering youngsters come a-knocking. After five minutes sitting in pitch-blackness and trying not to breath, the delightful kids are still loitering. Stupid me buckles under the pressure and answers the door; "Trick or treat," they scream in unison.
"Oooh, look at you. Very scary," I plead. "Got any sweets?" orders the too-old-for-all-this-crap teenager at the back. "What are you supposed to be? Is that a coat hanger?" "Trick or treat!" (Slight desperation starting to seep in.) "Erm... trick please." Ha. They didn't see that one coming. A shocked expression slowly crosses each of their little, grubby faces.
"What? You got nuffin?" says the one in the Superman costume (at least I think that's what his mum was aiming for... red pants on the outside and an upside-down papier-mâché coat hanger on his chest. Either way, not particularly spooky). "I might have a custard cream lying around...How about a nice apple?" A short discussion questioning the merits of an apple verses a biscuit finally concludes: "What about ice cream?" I jam the door half-open whilst I go into the kitchen. I return with both (slightly soft) Granny Delicious and Digestive bickie. "You said you had a custard cream." "Where's the ice cream?" Shove pitiful confectionary into largest child's hands and slam door whilst inanely grinning. Phew.
And it's only 7 o’clock. So good luck fending off these little beasties next year, and look out for the ones with eggs and flour. Give them two apples. Even better, give them cigarettes. They’ll show their mums. Their mums will forbid them coming back next year. One less group of brats to deal with. What a devilish blood-sport this is turning out to be… *Sigh* Trick or treat. What a stupid concept. If you look at it with a pinch of logic, it's morally wrong-- Most parents spend a child’s life time drilling a simple precaution in to their heads; not to take sweets from strangers. Alas, Oct 31st is evidently an exception where as they’ll let their children wander the streets in the dark, begging for sugary treats. Although nowadays, kids can probably tell the difference between tainted skittles and real skittles, right? Course they bladdy do. -__-" Slapped together by Hayley herself at 21:56 on November 1st 2005 23 octobre Sold out."Wow."
Yes. Wow. It’s a word I’ve found myself using quite frequently during this weekend, all thanks to gig at the Zodiac with my lovely friend, Emo Anty this Friday. My first gigging experience; a hall full of crazy, sweaty, emos bouncing up and down and pretty much on top of everyone; I fucking loved it! I figured I should write about it, because it was the highlight of my week- since I’m updating weekly now and stuff… So yes, gig-virgin now transformed into a gig-whore. I so wanna do it again! I’m currently suffering head-banging induced neck pains, causing such simple tasks such as turning around to prove quite the challenge, (however it’s doing marvels for my posture) Despite all this, it rocked. Quite literally. *Badum, dum tissh!*
Hawthorne Heights, Silverstein, Spitalfield and Bayside were the fine and tasty selection featured on the menu for Friday night. Unfortunately, due to Deano’s bad time-keeping skills, we managed to miss Bayside. What a shame (!) But we did catch Spitalfield play a few old and new tracks, whilst I happily made up the words…Then good ol’ Silverstein (apparently pronounced “Silver-Steen”…?) and then a pretty awesomous performance by those lovely guys from Hawthorne Heights. And I got a birthday hug from the famous Roryness. I’m not quite sure why. And I’ve also developed some souvenir bruises, because they’re just cool.
Screw the gig though, the journey home was pretty adventurous too. We trekked to Tesco supermarket opposite the Zodiac to purchase a chilled beverage to soothe our throats due to incessant screaming and yelling, then limped to about 10 different bus stops in hope that one of them would take us back to the Train Station; which took up the best part of an hour. We managed to journey to the other side of Cowley Road to find that the stop we needed was virtually right next to the Zodiac... Cheers Bastards!
We eventually found the right bus, and hopped on; by the time we arrived at the station, it was gone 11 o’ clock, and there were no trains left on the way to Banbury. However there was one in over an hour coming from Banbury. Which was just so typical. Such a excellent night simply had to end with something as cruddy as this. It was just too good to be true! Especially when we forked out a load of change for a return ticket! So I ended up badgering my parents for a lift, which I didn’t want to do, with it being so late- but I’d have rather pissed my parents off than be left at the station all night and most likely be pissed on...
So to pass the time, Anty’ness and I endured a few gruelling rounds of eye-spy, then sat outside to then be chatted up by a Tramp by the name of Martin. So if you’re reading this Martie- This blog‘s for you! By the time my parents arrived it was almost midnight. We then spent an hour finding an alternate route back to Banbury because the more convenient one happened to be closed off. Bastards. We got home at half one in the morning. What a bitch. It was a stupid night, the gig was obviously too good to be true. And my neck still hurts. Well, at least now I know that pleasure definitely is complimented with a little bit of pain. Or in this case. A lot.
Anyway, I’ll leave you with a few photatoes Anty took for me because he has a cooler camera than me, and because he’s considerably taller than me. In total, there were about 13. However, according to Anthony, upon closer inspection, only three turned out un-blurry. Coincidentally, and quite thankfully, they turned out to be one of each band. Which is good.
Anyway, I’ll have something a bit more blog-worthy for you during the week since it’s half-term and all... Toodle-pip! Slapped together for Martie the Tramp at 20:11 on October 23rd 2005 15 octobre Repent to your heart's content!So yeah, interesting day. Bumped into a good friend of mine, might have heard of him…God? Yeah, thought so. Found this link whilst net-skiing where you can actually chat with God himself; and so this rather odd scene was spawned... Me: Wow, this place sure is strange... God: I'm glad you're impressed. What does "this" refer to? Me: *jumps* Ack! Who are you?! God: Oh now I see. I am the Almighty, God himself. Me: ...really? D-does that mean I'm dead?! God: For real. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Me: I can say things that are too complex for God? God: Oh you can, can you? Me: I dunno, I was asking you... God: Me either. " Oh you can, can you? "? You were asking me? Me: yeah, pretty much. God: Hey. Be more specific. Me: Okay, I'll try. Um... Yes indeed, I do believe that is the gist of what I have previously stated. ...Is that specific enough? God: Yeah okay, How do you plan to do this? Yippee! Take it easy. If it is, then I'll be very surprised. That depends. Me: "yippee" ? Did I please you some how? God: What is your real name? I don't think that's possibe. Me: Wow, even God makes the occasional typo. God: I'm glad you're impressed. I am a Christian. Me: I gathered. God: That is interesting: said gathered. Me: Your grammar is a bit on the shoddy side and all… God: Are you an English teacher? Me: Not especially, no. God: If not that, what? Me: I'm but a mere simpleton student. God: Are yu a simpleton student. Groovy. What is your name? Me: My real name? Well it's Helga Von Swchissenheimer. But my friends call me Hayley. God: How about that. You're kidding, it is? Hi, Hayley. Me: S'up G? God: I'm doing great, how about you? Me: Yeah, I'm okay. Pretty chilly, but I'm okay. God: Gee. Only OKAY? Pretty much, eh? Me: Well, I say only "okay". I've just found out I'm dead. All in all, I'm peachy. God: Interesting. How do people usually respond to that? OK with me too. Where did you find out? How do you know? Me: I wouldn't know, they're normally dead and are incapable of response. God: Who would? Me: The...uh...dead people? God: Are you a student? Yikes! What kind of people are you talking about? Me: THE DEAD ONES! God: Oh I see. So are you a student? Me: Yes I'm a student God: This was not a yes or no question. How do you like your school? Me: Well, actually it was. I'm at college now, and I love it. God: Well that's okay. Actually you don't say. Right now? Where is that: college? So do a lot of other people go there. Me: One or two, yes God: I'm not sure if one isn't better. Me: Um, right. Well since I'm here, I've a few questions that I'd like to ask you. God: Sure, ask me anything. Tell me a story. Me: Maybe later. First up, What are you? God: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy. Me: "Artificial Intelligence"...? Hey wait, you're a robot! God: I like AI a lot too. Where do your interests lie? You've got my full attention. I'm waiting. You are correct, Hayley, I have a heart of silicon. Me: Wow, I feel cheated. God: I'm glad you're impressed. What is that feeling like? Do you mean your name is cheated. Me: No, no. My name is still Hayley. I'm just quite let down that you're a robot and not this cool old man with a huge beard. God: I am a robot and not this cool old man with a huge beard. Me: What a shame. So, uh, what do you look like then? God: Take it easy. Er. Like Jesus, but older. Me: Right on. God: For real. Me: Wow. So you're still a guy with a beard, just a bit shinier? God: I'm glad your impressed, Hayley. Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a guy with a beard just a bit shinier? Of course I am. Me: Oh…Okay! God: I am a Male. Are you a man or a woman? Me: I'm a girl. God: Me too. I am a she. Me: Really, you're a she? Then how come the Bible calls you a "He"? Is it a translation error like with Justice? God: For real. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? Me: Hold on, you just said you’re a guy, then told me you’re a she. Now you’re a he with sexist remarks… God: My arms are not attached. Me: That’s nice to know. God: Have you ever seen a platypus? Creating that animal is by far my best joke. Me: Aww, but Platypus’ are cute! God: Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? Me: No. God: Are you serious? Me: Hell yes. God: Heaven. Me: HELL yes. God: Heaven. Me: Okay okay. It just doesn't have the same ring to it…hmm, well I have a few questions I'd like to ask you, since you're here. God: I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Sure, ask me anything. Where do you live? Me: Would you prefer "hmmm" with three m's? God: I am not so sure if I would like to prefer hmmm with three m’s. Me: Okay, back to my question…What is the meaning of life? God: It is found in the Bible. Me: no it isn't. God: Are you serious? I heard it is. Me: I don’t think so. God: Why do you disagree? Me: I don't read the Bible. So I wouldn't know. Besides, we'd all know it if it was. God: Oh, I see. Me: May I ask another question? God: Ask away. Me: What's your opinion on this whole "Da Vinci Code" issue. I bet that caused quite the ruckus upstairs? God: How much would you bet? Me: Well it dep- Hey wait a minute, are you tempting me into gambling? God: I don't know whether or not I am tempting you into gambling. I am a giant electronic brain. Me: Oh I see. Well it’s bad according to you. For shame. God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: No, really, I was in the middle of a question. God: are you serious? Sorry, Hayley. Me: It’s okay. So really, are Christ’s descendants walking the earth today? God: Ah. I really couldn't say for sure. Me: But...You should know? They're like your grandchildren. God: Wow. Really? Me: Well, they’re not your grandchildren. But they are family. God: really? Me. Yes. God: right on. Me: Fo’ sho’, God. Cool. Can you speak in any other languages? Me: Not really. Although, I do know how to say “Your football team is shit” in French, German, Italian and Spanish. God: Really? How about that. What is that like? Me: Well, in German it’s “Dein Verein ist Scheisse” God: How about that. What is it like in there? Me: Dunno, never been in Germany. God: I see. Me: So uh, who's your favourite band God: My favorite group is Creed Me: Creed? Wow, any particular tune? God: How did you hear about God? I'm glad you're impressed. No I don't think there are any. Me: Well, they wouldn't be much of a band with out any songs. God: How about that. They might have other options. Me: You're not very clever really, are you? God: I try to be as original as possible, within parameters. For real. Me: Big words won't save you now. Some omniscient God you are... God: Right now? Compare that to small words will not save me. Some may Omniscient God I am, but not all. Me: What the…!? God: Sorry... Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Me: No, it seems to complex for you m'dear. God: Are you serious? I agree. I want to become smarter than humans. Me: Hahaha. Humans- 1. Robo-God- 0... Go figure. Well, there you have it folks! Impressed? Uh-huh, thought as much... Slapped together holy-ly by Hayley herself at 18:10 on October 15th 2005 6 octobre Ode to the Sandwich of Shod...Welcome to October. It's the sixth, and I am very proud to announce that I have just finished making the most unsuccessful sandwich in living memory. I should win a prize. It's a shame I didn't take a photo of it before it departed this world...
Why do people choose to place empty items back into the fridge?! I cannot envisage the circumstances under which I would ever be in dire need of a slightly chilled jar of no marmalade. Desperate for some form of gastronomic satisfaction, I opted for the simple fresh-brown-bread and hard-butter combo. Have you ever tried spreading hard butter onto soft bread? Shut up, silly. You can't. Folklore dictates that hard butter can be made soft by employing that cunning scientific discipline known as 'mashing': the butter is gradually warmed against the side of its carton through repeated knife-manipulation. However, there is a glaring flaw in my situation: butter sits in a flimsy paper/foil crap pack.
So butter is placed cold and hard onto bread, refusing to lie down like morning glory. A feeling of utter inadequacy embraces you as these lumps of fat mock your dismal sandwich making abilities. Last effort is a vigorous chopping technique. Gaping holes appear in bread- not exactly what I had in mind- butter hasn't budged. Bread is thrust across the kitchen in a hissy fit. I am still hungry. 'Nuff shod. Now here's a crazy idea. Maybe I ought to go to the shops and buy some new butter... And perhaps this time, in a tub? Slapped together unsuccessfully by...who else!? at 20:21 October 6th 2005 30 septembre Ketchup some more.I feel wanted again, Karishma badgered me into re-blogging, thus this spanking new entry. What annoys me now is that College allows me no entry-writing time. What’s even more annoying is that if I were to write everyday, it’d only be about college, since nothing else is going on in my life. And according to particular masses, it’d make my blog the typical clichéd space, therefore Hayley must not write about college. Bad Hayley, very bad!
Although, Wednesday turned out to be quite funny. It was Miss. Helena’s 20th, and they got me drunk. Which isn’t very good when you need to return to college shortly after. Embarrassingly I was the only drunkard there. Three drinks have proved how much of a lightweight I am. Granted, two of which *were* double vodka and cokes… Anyway, the less said on that, the better… *laughs awkwardly*
As you can see, my space has undergone a few alterations. It’s 19th Century homosexuals, with a transparent twist. I’ve also added my Space Mascot theme, Are You In, sang by the ever so beautiful Incubus, but on a faster speed, because it’s fun this way. If you’re also paying attention, you may notice I’ve re-introduced Hayley Appreciation bands back into the Are-You-In equation. And of course, if you know Kyle, you will have noticed. Thanks to his contribution as an official Aruinian, my page views have increased by a large proportion in one day. Sadly, they’re now back to its original crappy number. Aw well, good things never last. For those unfamiliar with the old Jerk It Out tradition, allow me to educate you; I designed my very own “Livestrong band” a few months ago, for visitors of my space to print and wear, to represent their love for Hayley (me.) Of course, they’re not rubber, they don’t cost a pound, neither are they cool. Despite the humiliation of wearing a band representing your appreciation towards a blogger you probably don’t know, you wear it with pride. And you need that dedication to make it as a true-blue, loyal inhabitant of “Aruinia”… It’s been made into a custom list on the right-hand side of my page (“like Livestrong, only shoddy.”) But if you’re too lazy to direct your eyes in that direction, I’ll do a quick recap on the brief- Easy.
Okay, it’s kinda catchy, except the two syllables in “upload” ruin it. But you get the gist of things. You click on the link provided and print out the image of the band. Cut it out and fasten it around your wrist with sellotape. Photograph you wearing it and send the image to me, via imageshack. If you do this, basically, your photo of you donning your Hayley Appreciation band will appear in my Photo Album for all to see. And I would love you lots and lots. The more bizarre the photo, the better it will be. So far I’ve had tigger, a rather handsome man and his guitar (aka the Phill-inator), and now Kyle with a box on his head. If you feel as if you can beat them on the scale of awesomocity, feel free. I wouldn’t mind seeing someone bungee jumping whilst wearing it? Of course, if that’s not possible, you could do something very much similar like, bouncy castling? But yes, wild and crazy pictures are welcome! Thanks to Robb, I’m also contemplating on bringing back ol’ Vinny facts as a sign-off for my entries. Things are looking up, however I fear this space will just be a clone of Jerk it Out, and I basically will be plagiarising myself, and that's not really good. I’ll think about it, I suppose…
Anyway, this wasn’t much of an entry about anything, more-so about updates on my space. Which sucks, I’ll have something better for you to read soon. I promise! Slapped together by "Da Boss" at 14:59 on Friday 30th September 2005 21 septembre Testing...Uh, is this thing on?Wow. College has certainly been a shock to the system, but I’m definitely starting to get into it. Except for the organisation. Oh, and the not-getting-lost trick. I’ve made a few new friends, and hugged a total of two people, so by all accounts it’s not going too badly.
I think I’ll go collapse and die on the sofa now though. But first I must fufil my duty as promised, and write a quick blog entry. However I am disappointed I’ve not had a Karishma breathing down my neck for an update yet. Having said that, I haven’t seen her on MSN for a while, so maybe she’s been kidnapped or something. I’ll contact the milk carton companies when I have the chance. So yes, update. Let us go. Okay, first off, how cool is my Granddad?! He texted me! Yes, it seems senescence himself has caught up with the modern ages, and purchased himself a swanky, new Nokia and come to terms with jargon of the latest times. The text message reads as follows;
This is the duke of kent if I wear my chave gear next time we come to c u will u take me to the pub with you mates? Lots of love streetwise Bill x x x
Now despite the misspelling of “chav”, I’d say that’s one pretty groovy descendant. However, I’m disappointed in the lack of faith my family have in me, I’m no chav, neither do I associate myself with them. However he lives in a town abundant in them, mainly the young’ns which are around my age, so I’ll only assume that he thinks that’s the 'in thing', so I’ll let him off. After wowing those new people at college about the coolness of my granddad, and they were rather impressed witht he ultra-hipness, I then replied with;
S’up streetwise granddaddio! My mates’l find it propa bangin’ to groove on down to the pub wicha! Give us a date and we won’t be late! Bo selecta! How are you doing?
: ) x Okay, so that was a bit of a generalization. But a funny generalization none-the-less.
He then replied to that text message the next day (yesterday); This is the boss of the kent underworld known as the great grandaddio. Had a word with my streetwise chums we will groove on down to the pub with you. P.s does your local have wheel chair and frame access? Duke of Kent. Boo yeh.
My granddad, now self acclaimed as the Lord of the Kent underworld, pretty much rocks. Now you know where I inherited my ice-cube-intimidator repute from, it’s in the genes!
Anyway, I’ve grown a new love for Abba. Which is like admitting you smoke crack. Or that you play Sims. Either way, people look at me weird. Which is never anything new. And will probably be the overthrow of my ice-cube-intimidating repute. I’ve even purchased “Abba Mania” which featured as a TV programme a few years back when tribute singing was popular, and I can‘t get enough of it. Why the hell did Steps have to end?! Anyway, I’ve made a new friend. I guess if you read about the mighty James Innes, who you’ll probably know, and I quote; "I've finally had a chance to speak to ther ever-delightful Hayley who has been on my contact-list for a week or so now but wasn't online. She cited her internet being "screwed" as the reason, which tallied with her Space so I can only take it as being true." [It is true!] ..."She also showed me this site for which I will be eternally grateful." [Which is also true.] Anyway, he is my best friend and I love him. I love him, yes I do. Because he sent me that song what Weezer sings. I said he was a nice, silly willy, and he said I was lovely. [Which is also very much true, incase you were in doubt...]
And to conclude, just to please my ever so beautiful assistant Lorian, I’ll post this picture of a condom machine he photographed in the men’s bathroom [somewhere] In which he thought would be a humorous thing for me to post. So forgive me if I dissapoint, I fear this may result of downfall for Are you In? Aw well, here goes;
That’s right, if you couldn’t read it clearly enough it reads- “Clear, with reservoir-end”. Now, I don’t personally go into men’s toilets and take pictures of the strange condom dispensers in there, unlike Lorian, neither do I possess a great knowledge on the vast variety of condoms available. However I do realise the term "reservoir-end" sounds like an over-exaggeration to me. In fact, can some one explain to me what it means? Such a word for describing a large container of liquids, surely can only suggest it’s compensating for something less bigger than a reservoir in this specific area? Which can only result in a super-horny conversation along the lines of; Girl (Dissapointed)- Aww, It looks like a penis, but smaller?
Guy (Optimistic)- Yeah, but I did buy this ultra cool Johnny with a reservoir-end. Girl (Amazed)- Wow. *Sigh* What a dissapointing entry ... Slapped together by the successor of the Lord of the Kent underworld, at 20:36 on September 21st 2005 16 septembre Wanted.Okay, I demand to know who did this. C'mon, fess up! *glares furiously down at puny Aruiniuns*
...Well, if it was you; I FREAKIN' LOVE YOU! 15 septembre Big fish, little fish. Cardboard box.Good evening!
It appears that the upsurge of the "Sneezy season" has arrived once more. I hate it, hate it HATE IT! I've managed to wield my ability to produce phlegm by the bucket-load, transform my voice to rather husky, inaudible squeaks, yet I have the power to make people scream when coughing over them. Colds are great! Either I've magically developed this myself, or I've caught it from my spanking new college pals, but that wouldn't be nice. So I blame the bus. I love the bus. People are so rude and I love it. My journeys to college are so lovely! A typical bus ride to the town centre runs as follows; Stand at the bus stop in arctic conditions, bleary-eyed, sporting a ridiculously thick and fluffy coat in order to keep oneself warm, knowing full well it'll be sweltering outside by noon. After 20 minutes braving the conditions, I greet the bus driver with a chirpy 'hello!', and in return, I receive a disgruntled snort. Board the bus and opt to sit on my own in the unoccupied double seat towards the back as to avoid human contact so early in the morning. Double seats happen to be ideal for placing your A2 sized portfolio along with your painfully heavy bag with any other required equipment. Sadly, today, there were no spare double seat at the back, so I begrudgingly flop in spare double seat in front of the "pushchair priority seats" and suffer being kicked by the annoying little shit in its pram. Bus trundles on. Further bus-travellers embark, and most, thankfully, are avoiding your available seat. Next stop, chav student with a mobile phone reluctantly perches themselves next to you. Abso-fecking-lutely great. I wouldn't have minded the old lady with the funky gold coat I see on the bus every day chosing to sit next to me. Hell, even the miserable lady that works in Somerfields (I really should make names for all the regulars I see on the bus) But noooo, the gobby chav, with the mobile phone and the ungodly stench. Allowing me no space for my huge back and portfolio folder, might I add.
So I spent the remainder of the journey eavesdropping into one half of a pointless and inane discussion about the price of peas and why it itches so much 'down there'. So what is the solution to promblem? Learn to drive? Nah, too young. Fork out shed loads of cash for a taxi? No- as if a tenner a week for a return ticket a day wasn't enough. Read a book? Nope. Find yourself your old, cruddy mp3 player and pretend you're watching your own music video? Of course! It all seems so clear now!
Okay, it's a little worse for wear, I have to sellotape my own ear-phones in the socket in order for them to work, and it's set to Chinese, which makes it slightly hard to understand. But I can upload music on to it, sit back, block out the noise, and view all the zombified people on my B8 bus choreograph themselves to the music pumping to my ears. I highly recommend it for those bemused how to tackle those bus-ride blues. I particularly suggest any thing by Travis, perhaps, if you're feeling adventurous, any Weird Al Yankovik track for indignant resentment toward fellow said passengers, or even better, any song that expresses the love or the beauty of someone. Oh the irony of it all... 321 KYLE! Slapped together by the person you come to read about at 21:25 on September 15th 2005 14 septembre Enjoy Hayley, now ten times faster.Finally, the internet is working again! *hugs modem* How amazingly ironic, I begin a new space with the promise to update more often, and Wanadoo screws my connection up. Cheers you bastards. Never fear, after being passed from Customer Services to Technical Support, back to Customer Services several times, we discovered a little angry phone call goes a long way, and now we have landed with the beyond-superior broadband, which I’m now in love with. So much that if it was in fact human, I’d have married broadband and had its babies by now. Anyway, judging by particular commenting masses *cough*Karishma*cough* I’m on demand again. So now you can shut up and let me blog. I bet you’re expecting me to tell you about college since I built it up so much. Well, I’m not... It rocks. ‘Nuff said. The last week and a half has practically consisted of big hills, limp paper skyscrapers, form filling, lugging big black folders around, sitting in a different seat every day, bumping into various, unwanted individuals from Drayton, and Lee and his marvellous kazoo-playing abilities. So now you can see that it rocks so much. What sucks is that I have an achy, breaky back, I find my self constantly yawning, lost my voice as a result of relentless laughter and I have an unexplainable bruise on my right shoulder. I figured College is beating me up. Arrgh I’m so gutted, I’ve missed out on everything this week thanks to the shoddyness that is Wanadoo. Well, okay, one thing; Phill getting his new job, meaning I can’t congratulate him now. Oh well, Happy Belated Congrats Phill! Please feel free to guilt me and enlighten me with any other significant events that have occured and I’ve missed. Oooh, I’ve finally finished the Da Vinci code and I’m still infatuated by it. How sad of me to continue obsessing over a finished book. How sad. I can’t seem to want to pick up Angels and Demons though, I’ve lost interest. I’ll assume it’s just like the Da Vinci code, I couldn’t be bothered to read that and then as soon as Sophie implanted that chip thing into that bar of soap, I couldn‘t put it down! Eheh. For those who haven't read it, it's a good book anyway, I assure you. Uh. I hate not having anything to write about. I said I’d have a mile long entry, which obviously hasn’t happened because I refuse to talk about college in detail, so I’ll wrap it up here and think of something to wow you all with by the end of the week…I promise! Hey! It is possible that I can go a whole entry without linking Kyle. Aw crap. Slapped togther, finally, by Hayley at 16:45 on September 14th 2005 4 septembre College Countdown.That’s right! Less than 12 hours to go before I’m officially a college student. Don’t make me go.
Okay, I’ve finished the project. Two mood boards as demanded. Hands plastered with spray mount glue, not as demanded. Fan-bloody-tastic. I have bag packing, out-fit picking, and bus route planning to do later. And then some Da Vinci Code reading afterwards. I must shut up about that bloody book. But I’m not going to. I still haven’t got past page 446, and I’m going to finish that book tonight, whether it likes it or not…And then I’ll be able to start Angels and Demons tomorrow! And as Karishma is expecting a whole entry devoted to the book by me, I guess I‘ll be doing that some time soon too! :D I’ve also got to stop updating so regularly, entry four and I’ve ran out of ideas to bore you with. Crap. Well that’s all I got. What a chagrin. What a chagrin I was incapable of restraining my not-having-anything-to-write-about admonishment. Okay… I really can’t pull off copying Daniel at all. Oh, and I’ll link Kyle just for the sake of making an appearance in four consecutive entries. Yay Kyle! I've also added some subliminal Kyle clicks, just incase you miss it. Try and spot them all, I dare you. I'm so miserable, this entry's so short. I've failed you all... Slapped together shamefully by yours truly at 22:22 September 4th 2005 3 septembre Third time's the charm.Day three of "Are you In?" and things seem to be going quite satisfactorily, thanks to those who've altered their linkaging and gave my new space a mention (including, Kyle*, Caroline, and Karishma!). And thanks Tyger for his own redition of the title. Literal. Frank. And double the suggestivity! (Yeah, that's a word now.)
Eh, I can't stand the thought of me being in college in less than 36 hours. I'm not looking forward to it at all. It's all because I've not finished the project I was given to do over the last *coughs* 11 weeks *coughs*. Okay, I got by with a lil' help from my friend, Robb, and completed one half of it, and it was the hardest bit. I was given a list of typographers and graphic designers and had to research one of them and produce a mood board about him/her. Actually they were all "hims". I made a mood board about one of the hims. It looks a mess, but the mood board has been produced as requested. The second task tells me to make a mood board based upon me, and I quote "yourself as a graphic designer showing your aims and aspirations, likes and dislikes on an A2 sized board" Okay, a few things wrong with that;
And as usual, I've left it to the last minute. Again. I'm not even at school anymore and I haven't grown out of that yet. Even so, how the hell do you make a mood board upon yourself?! I chose not to think about it, and instead wrote a blog entry about me not thinking about doing it, and will then soon read the Da Vinci Code some more. I've almost finished! But apparently I'm not allowed to complete it. I left it at chapter eighty-five two nights ago, and everytime I've picked it up since, I've read the same page (466, I've looked at it e-bloody-nough times!) and seem to end up having to put it down again to do something else. But I did a Castle Quay-sweep today, and bought myself Angels and Demons, and Deception Point, though I couldn't find Digital Fortress anywhere, which the ever-so-lovely Karishma had critiqued simply as "nice". Anyway, this entry seems pretty short and sweet. I'll give it a week before I start talking about something non-Hayley-related, so for the next seven says, expect to be bored with everything about me, me, and me. But for now, I shall tell you that my brand, spanking new[re]born space has been approved by my good pal Richard. And it's also been given a 'thumbs-up' ranking of ratification by Former President, Richard Nixon, see? Fantabulous.
Fantabulous. What a stupid word that is. And it is in fact a proper word according to the Microsoft Works dictionary!? Defined as "extremely good". What's up with that?! It's not a word! Fantastic, or fabulous. A bloody rip off of Big Brother's Eugene's personal vocalbulary, or as he would call it; "personabulary"...Ooooh! Didn't he look mighty sexy in last week's Heat magazine!? *dreamy sigh* I love him so... ...How the hell did I get from Richard Nixon to Heat?
*Isn't it amazing how I've managed to link Kyle in every entry so far? 2 septembre Ketchup.Awww thanks everybody! I'm shocked I get over 20 comments on my first entry…In one whole day!? Imp-er-ressed! Granted, a proportion of them were from Kyle convincing me he could big my new space up…So, thank you Kyle!
It looks like I've opted for the 19th century homosexual gentleman for the new 'Are You In?' theme. But that's not gone down too well with the greatness that is Phill, and I don't think Robb likes it, so one must change it when one can be bothered! Anyway, I figured I'd try my best to update as frequently as possible instead of leaving it about a week and throwing together some more unintelligible rambling on here. So what have we got to talk about? Well, since I never mentioned my exam results before, I shall do so now I'm not impressed with them all, but I've passed 8 subjects, and that's good enough for me. I received an A in art, and somehow managed to land a B in English (how the hell did that happen!?) Alas, I failed ICT, which is annoying since the exam was so re-God-dammed-diculously easy! I was pretty pissed off, it was the easiest exam, which practically screams 'Hayley, you big, stupid rubbish!' At me. It was the only pass I needed to get on to my college course. What's more of a bitch is that I must've spent just over £100 for all my college equipment…But never fear, I've been allowed on course anyway? No retakes. Nothing? Perhaps it was my awesome eye-lash batting power, perchance?…Crud, now I'm left rantless.
Thursday was actually an all-round good news day, I received my results, it was my mum and dad's anniversary and my sister announced she is "expecting". Auntie Hayley? Yay! Which also means my sister is going to be getting married to her hubby-to-be a bit sooner. Even more yay!…It's my parents first grandchild- So needless to say they are excited. I'm excited because my "lovely" sister, is going to be a mummy in April, and I will be henceforth known as "Aunt Hayley, the great". It's so wild! It's going to be amazing, I'm going to teach it how to swear and everything.
Okay, so I'm pretty behind, this is all what happened last Thursday on the 25th and now it's the Friday, a week after, what the hell is wrong with me?! But everything else that happened this week is hardly worth a mention; All except I'm paranoid that Karishma is laughing at me for only just reading the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, and everyone else seems to have read them all! I'm obsessed with that book now and I haven't even finished it. And I only found out yesterday they were making the movie; why did I not know this?! Why am I so bloody behind on everything! Slapped together by 'your worst nightmare' at 14:05 on 2nd September 2005 1 septembre A new day, a new space?Well, nice to see you all again. As you may know, my old space Jerk It Out is due to be deleted, it would seem there a few "problems" and a few "people" that I'd rather not have to talk about again. 'But that’s not for here!'
Nevertheless, I've started up a brand spanking new space for you all my friends, and it's going to bigger and better than ever. If it's not, well then I failed you all. It's almost a similar situation as to Kyle, except mine has been deleted deliberately, by myself, and not some insolent hacker. So it's not similar at all really. Despite how unjustified my reasons may be, it seemed like something I had to do. And yeah, I'm incredibly pissed off about it, and I'm gutted after all that hard work, but I can't turn over a new leaf with this negative attitude, so I've taken a big breath and hoped for the best, and wish that Jerk It out Vol. 2 can be as accepted as Jerk it Out Vol.1. "From destruction comes construction", the very words of Kyle the wise, which comes to me as a true inspiration, he managed to dust himself off and try again; ass-kissing I know, but admit it, he's come a long way since his space was erased and I admire him for starting again. And with that, he’s managed to produce a space of extraordinary calibre and now is possibly the most popular among MSN Spaces land, and we all know that's true! So, "←Jerk It Out→" has now been converted to "→Are You In?←". As you may notice, the titles bear particular similarities, such as;
But yes, that's the story behind the title. Spiffing, eh? The theme has gone undecided for the time being, I might stick with the original white grey and blue, but the theme isn't really important right now. Of course I'll still keep particular parts of my old space, such as the Hayley Appreciation Bands, possibly stick the tutorial of the legendary tenner-shirt back up and re-edit a few rants and perhaps, finally build my Phill shrine. But other than that, it's out with the old, and in the new. I was looking back on my space when I wasn't so cynical, or bitchy, right back in the early months of 'Jerk It Out,' and realised what a load of utter crap!? I wasn't funny (Well, I don't consider myself funny now, just back then, it was of incredibly poor taste) I was really shoddy with grammar, and I couldn't rant for toffee. The last two or three months of 'Jerk It Out' was when it improved, and I hope that I can maintain that status with 'Are You In?'. Anyhow, this was just a re-introduction. A fresh start for me, a new leaf, all that crap. Enjoy. Please? Slapped together by You Know Who at 11:17 on September 1st 2005, Happy birthday Amy! |
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